Every summer, I skim fashion magazines online to check out trends to see if there’s anything I should add to my wardrobe.
My mom once told me, “If you wore it the first time around, you don’t get to wear it again.”
This summer, I crossed off tie-dye, neon and puffy shoulders (I spent enough time in the ’80s looking like a linebacker).
Also, jumpsuits. The all-in-one outfits are flattering and look polished. But I interrogated women in the newsroom wearing them and they have to strip down every time they use the restroom. I use the restroom, like, 157 times a day.
There’s neo-gothic. I’m already into this, wearing black in the summer against conventional wisdom that light-colored clothing is cooler. (In black, no one can see me sweat.)
Bike shorts with blazers. Really? Um, no.
Bucket hats. Cute.
Animal prints. Maybe.
Hold on. What’s this? Granny panties?
I thought the high-waisted, full-coverage briefs were strictly for the “Golden Girls” set (though I suspect Blanche never wore them).
At Christmas in 2005, my mom tucked a beige pair into my stocking. Was she trying to tell me something?
They stretched seamlessly from the bottom of my bottom to my bellybutton. They didn’t bunch, or creep up, or leave an unsightly line.
But I didn’t like the way they made me feel: sensible and proper. They screamed at me: “You’ll always be single!”
I just wasn’t ready. Not yet.
But the granny panties in these fashion magazines were not my Nana’s underwear. Oh sure, they were big and high-waisted, but they were sexy, too, with high-cut legs, bright colors and lace.
According to the magazines, it’s young women driving the trend, ditching thongs and bikinis for comfort and coverage, with the likes of Rihanna, Lady Gaga and Kim Kardashian donning them.
There’s nothing “Golden Girls” about them. This is a fashion trend I can get behind.
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