“Life is not what I imagined, but I am happy about it”: Eva Mendes opens up about turning 50-HO

“I get to see my mom grow older. I get to see myself grow older. I get to see my kids grow up. I’m just so grateful to still be here,” says the actress and Skura Style co-owner.

Though she never imagined her life at 50, Eva Mendes is marching to the beat of her own drum—and she couldn’t be happier. “I don’t succumb to societal pressure. Whatever I want to do, I do,” says the actress, who shares daughters Esmeralda Amada, 9, and Amada Lee, 8, with Ryan Gosling. “I certainly didn’t think I’d have kids and be locked down. So I’m really happy that a certain man came into my life and made me change my mind about all that stuff.”

Choosing to leave her acting career behind to focus on her children a decade ago was “the easiest decision” she’s ever made.

“The years have been immensely formative,” expresses the co-owner of cleaning brand Skura Style. “I desired to be present for every moment of it.” Almost thirty years since her initiation in Hollywood, Mendes—set to release her first children’s book, *Desi, Mami, and the Never-Ending Worries*, this autumn—has come to appreciate the “beauty within my imperfections.”

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Now, she’s shaping narratives for her daughters too. “They’re attentive, and my words hold power,” she remarks. “When I witness someone exuding joy, I aim to acknowledge it as ‘That’s truly beautiful,’ not merely ‘They’re beautiful.'” Ultimately, her daughters hold her responsible: “It urges me to strive towards becoming a better person each day.”

At 50, how do you define beauty? 
At 50, I define beauty as not definable. It can be anything and everything. It’s all around you. If you’re open to seeing it, it’s everywhere.

How did you imagine your life would look at 50 when you were younger?
I don’t think I imagined my life over 30 when I was younger. I thought 30 was old then. I don’t think I had a picture of what I wanted my life to look like. I never did, but I’m pretty happy it’s turning out the way it is.

What do you have the confidence to do now at 50 that you wouldn’t have had the guts to do at 25?
Raising kids—when I hit 40, it was a big deal for others when I was pregnant, but not for me. Then at 42, expecting my second one, people exclaimed, “Oh my God, you’re going to be so tired. That’s why folks have kids in their 20s.” I just thought, “That’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard.”

By the way, it takes more patience. In my 20s, I shouldn’t have even been around a child. I was foul-mouthed and smoking. I definitely could not have raised kids in any other era of my life but now.

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I don’t feel the need to show anything anymore. I’m good. I feel like I did that early on, and I look back and go, “Why did I do that? Oh, my God.” Maybe it’s because I have girls.

How did you come to the decision to take a step back from acting to raise a family?
Being older, I realized that my children would only be young once, and whatever I did or didn’t do in that moment would shape them for the rest of their lives. I didn’t perceive it as pressure; instead, it felt like clarity. Those years are pivotal, formative years, and I was determined to be present for every moment of it.

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You’re co-owner of Skura Style. How did this come to be?
I was just going through certain cleaning products and I needed a sponge upgrade. I had read something that said, “Your sponge is dirtier than your toilet.” I was just like, “What?” Then I found this perfect sponge. It’s called Skura Style sponge. It’s been really exciting because I have an emotional tie to it.

You’ve said that “a clear sink is a clear mind.” How do you distribute cleaning duties at home? 
I’m not a cook, so my man cooks and I clean. I can’t cook. My girls, they’re so cute but they’re like, “Did you make these eggs, mama?” I’m like, “Who messes up eggs?”

Tell me about your new children’s book!
It’s based on my experience with my kids and putting them to bed and the worries that we have all day and how the voices are louder. The worries are scarier right before you fall asleep sometimes. I had something to say and I hope other parents and caregivers enjoy it.