“SPEND MORE TIME WITH MOM”All About J. Cole’s Parents, James and Kay Cole-HO

James and Kay Cole welcomed J. Cole in 1985

J. Cole and his mom Kay Cole arrive at The 54th Annual Grammy Awards on February 12, 2012 in Los Angeles, California. PHOTO: STEVE GRANITZ/WIREIMAGE

J. Cole has written about his parents, James and Kay Cole, in his music over the years.

The duo welcomed two sons during their marriage, including the rapper’s older brother, Zach. Cole, born Jermaine Lamarr Cole, was born on a military base in Frankfurt, Germany, where his parents lived until after they split. Following their divorce, Cole and Zach relocated to North Carolina with their mother.

In September 2016, Kay gave The Fayetteville Observer some insight into her younger son’s personality as a child, sharing that he was open to different genres of music — including rap — and would often dance along in the kitchen to bluegrass. Kay noted, “Jermaine was funny. He was a funny kid. He was not afraid to sing and dance.”

Cole has historically been private about his life, including about his family. In a trailer for his album 2014 Forest Hills Drive, Cole got candid about putting his relationships with his loved ones, including his mom, on the backburner for his career.

“I’m at the point where it’s like, Nah man, I want to be a better son. Spend more time with my mom, even get to know her better, at this age,” he explained. “I’m a grown man now. Getting to know her now is way different than getting to know her when I was 15. I didn’t know s— about myself at 15.”

Here’s everything to know about J. Cole’s parents, James and Kay Cole.

J. Cole’s parents are army veterans

J. Cole performs onstage during the 2021 iHeartRadio Music Festival on September 17, 2021 in Las Vegas, Nevada.KEVIN WINTER/GETTY

Both James and Kay were in the military, but Cole told NPR’s Microphone Check in June 2013 that his mom left the service when she gave birth to him.

The rapper talked to AllHipHop.com about his parents’ careers, noting that the reason he ended up living in North Carolina was because he was an “army brat.”

“My mother and my father were in the army when I was young, so that’s how we ended up there,” he said. “It’s diverse, there’s a whole bunch of different types of people. You got, White, Black, Asian, Latino. So you meet a lot of different types of people, [I have had] a lot of different types of experiences. I done seen it all from the worst side of town to new kids from the best side of town.”

J. Cole lived on a military base with his family before moving to North Carolina

During his childhood, Cole experienced frequent relocations alongside his parents. Initially, they resided on a military base in Germany before their eventual divorce. Following the separation, Cole, along with his older brother, relocated to a trailer park situated in Spring Lake, outside Fayetteville, North Carolina, with their mother.

Subsequently, after his mother remarried, they transitioned to a more stable living situation in a home located on Forest Hills Drive, a significant setting that later inspired the title of Cole’s third studio album.

Reflecting on his upbringing, Cole recalled the challenges of living in the trailer park, expressing concerns for his mother’s well-being. However, by the time he reached fifth or sixth grade, the family’s circumstances improved as they moved to a nicer house, affording Cole his own room. This diverse upbringing exposed him to life at various socio-economic levels.

Additionally, Cole spent summers with his father in Dallas, as reported by Billboard, further enriching his childhood experiences.

J. Cole’s parents divorced when he was a toddler

J. Cole attends BALLY’s ‘Off the Grid’ New York premiere on August 5, 2015 in New York City.NEILSON BARNARD/GETTY

Cole was young when his parents separated. He told Microphone Check in June 2013 that their divorce was finalized by the time he was 4.

“My parents were divorced by the time I was even conscious — like I don’t remember them ever being together,” he explained. “So my first memories of life were in this real stable neighborhood because it was military quarters.”

Cole said that after his parents got divorced, Kay was no longer able to live in military housing, so they had to move to North Carolina.

Though they had a strained relationship growing up, Cole told Flavourmag in October 2011 that he was able to form a relationship with his father as he got older.

“Me and my pops are getting tighter now that I’m grown,” he explained. “I didn’t really grow up with him around. If I’m in the area where he lives, that’s Texas, I’ll see him.”

J. Cole’s mom was a postal worker

After her tenure in the army, Kay transitioned to a career as a postal worker for the United States Postal Service. In May 2013, as part of his Bornsinner.com series, Cole honored his mother and documented her last day on the job after he facilitated her retirement.

Kay recounted the circumstances of landing her postal job in a voiceover, recalling how a visitor at the bar where she bartended discovered she was a veteran and suggested she apply for a position at the post office. Following successful completion of a postal exam, she was hired, feeling a sense of accomplishment in securing what she considered a “grown-up job.”

In November of that same year, Cole shared with Amaru Don TV that his mother had dedicated approximately 20 years to her role as a postal worker and was now enjoying her retirement. He described her current state as “chilling,” emphasizing the freedom she now had to spend time with family and pursue her interests without the demanding schedule of delivering mail, regardless of weather conditions.

J. Cole cites his mom as his musical influence

J Cole performs on the main stage during Day 2 of Wireless Festival 2022 on July 02, 2022 in London, England.JOSEPH OKPAKO/WIREIMAGE

Tupac, Jay-Z, Nas, Eminem, André 3000 and Lil Wayne were among Cole’s musical influences and “North stars,” he told Kevin Hart on Hart to Heart in July 2023, but there was one name he didn’t include on the list — his mother.

In June 2013, Cole told NPR that his mom and stepfather served as sources of musical inspiration for him growing up.

“My stepfather brought the hip-hop side and the R&B from your Ohio Players or Marvin Gaye or whatever,” Cole explained. “But he really brought me the hip-hop side. And then you have my mom who was bringing me classic rock and folk music.”

Cole continued, “I’m talking Peter, Paul and Mary. Everything from Peter, Paul and Mary to Queen to Eric Clapton and into the modern stuff — so Red Hot Chili Peppers at that time, Counting Crows, Smashing Pumpkins.”

He also recalled his childhood memories of his mom playing music, though he didn’t always like the songs. Cole said he’d often question her choices, noting that it wasn’t “cool” to him.

“But one thing I’m grateful for is, nah, man, that really seeped in my pores — all of that music did,” he noted. “I have such a greater appreciation for all that music.”

J. Cole talks about his relationship with his parents in his music

Cole has delved into his personal life through his music, exploring his relationships with his parents and his upbringing. In a January 2011 interview with NPR, he dissected his 2011 track “Breakdown,” featured on the album Cole World: The Sideline Story.

During the interview, Cole elucidated the song’s significance, expressing, “What I was trying to say in that song is that I didn’t grow up in the same city as my father, in the same place.” Reflecting on his graduation, he shared, “So, I graduated school and he came to my graduation because … he is that type of father. But it was around the time of my life I started to just analyze and be like, man, it just felt so good to see my pops. Man, I wish I — you know, it was one of those breakdown moments.”

Furthermore, Cole has woven his mother into his musical narrative, notably in his song “Cole Summer,” where he details assisting her retirement.

In a May 2018 interview with Angie Martinez, Cole disclosed his mother’s reaction to his candid storytelling in his music, which includes portraying less glamorous aspects of his childhood.

He recounted her words, “She told me something one time back in the day and I took that as my path. She was like, ‘Look, maybe my story can help somebody and I’m not ashamed of nothing, so tell my story.’” Cole emphasized the depth of their discussions about past pain and growth, indicating, “We’ve had mad conversations about the past and pain and her way of dealing with pain, how I felt when that was happening, where we’re at now compared to where we were then.”

James and Kay are supportive of their son

J Cole and Kay Cole at the 54th Annual Grammy Awards on February 12, 2012 in Los Angeles, California.JASON MERRITT/GETTY

Both James and Kay have remained supportive of their son, no matter his level of fame.

Kay has attended numerous events to support Cole, including at South by Southwest Music Festival in Austin, Texas. She was also by his side at the 2012 Grammy Awards, when Cole was nominated for best new artist.

In April 2022, James was in the crowd at Dreamville Festival in Raleigh, according to The Fayetteville Observer. He was spotted in the front row at the concert and was talking to and taking pictures with fans.

Though he was attending the festival for the first time, he had two simple words to describe the experience of witnessing his son’s hard work to put Dreamville together. “It’s great,” he said.