Sara Evans and Jay Barker Have Reconciled After a Messy Separation

A country singer and a football player fell in love. Now, after domestic violence disputes, they’re back together.

In 2006, amidst challenging divorces, country singer-songwriter Sara Evans and football player Harry “Jay” Barker were introduced to each other by Sara’s marital counselor. Initially, they didn’t anticipate falling in love but instead saw each other as supportive friends navigating their divorces. However, as they spent time together with their respective children, their relationship evolved, and they eventually started dating.

Over the next almost 20 years, their relationship has been marked by numerous ups and downs, including domestic violence disputes. Despite these challenges, their relationship has endured, and they have navigated through various hurdles together. Here’s an outline of their relationship timeline, which reflects the complexities and evolution of their partnership.

Jay Barker and Sara Evans first met in 2006.

In 2006, both Jay Barker and Sara Evans were navigating through challenging divorces. Sara had recently ended her relationship with politician Craig Schelske, with whom she shares three children. Their divorce was fraught with allegations of mutual infidelity and accusations related to drinking and drug use in front of their children, as reported by People magazine.

At the same time, Jay Barker officially split from Amy DiGiovanna, his wife of 13 years, in 2007. They had four children together: Andrew, Braxton, and twins Sarah Ashlee and Harrison. Jay and Sara were introduced to each other through Sara’s marriage counselor, who believed they shared many similarities. Sara later revealed to Birmingham magazine that their counselor felt they could at least be supportive friends due to their shared experiences.

Sara and Jay married on June 14, 2008.

Relationships move quickly in the spotlight! Sara and Jay were barely officially divorced from their previous partners by the time they wed in Nashville on June 14, 2008 in a “fairytale wedding,” Sara told PEOPLE.

In 2011, Sara and Jay shared they were considering having a baby.

Because Sara has three kids from a previous marriage and Jay has four, if they decide to have another, they would be the eighth sibling. “Having a child together would be a bridge, not just for us, but for our kids,” Jay said in an interview at the time. However, for whatever reason, they never had a child together.

From 2015 to 2021, everything seemed good between Jay and Sara.

After their 2008 wedding, Jay relocated from Nashville to Alabama, which he admits loving in their Birmingham magazine interview. Throughout the years, both Jay and Sara shared pics on Instagram and often gushed about one another in public. But by early 2021, they shared their final social media appearance together on Instagram Live before their relationship hit the fan.

In April 2021, court documents showed that Jay and Sara separated.

On April 14, 2021, various media outlets obtained documents that proved they had been separated for about three months. Jay was living separately from Sara in Alabama and they were notably “estranged.”

Sara Evans filed for divorce from Jay in August 2021.

Just a few months after their separation was announced, Sara was ready to make it official, citing “irreconcilable differences” in the documents. She also cited “inappropriate marital conduct” and “accusatory behavior.”

In a later exclusive with PEOPLE, Sara shared, “I was so madly in love with him, and still am, that it took me forever to tell people. I was in denial. I thought, ‘I can change it. I can manage his behavior. I can just make sure that nothing ever upsets him.’” But she eventually realized the relationship was toxic and she cut it off.

In January 2022, Jay was arrested for a domestic violence incident.

After Sara Evans and Jay Barker had lunch in January 2022 to discuss their divorce, a troubling incident occurred. Allegedly, Jay attempted to hit the car Sara was in with his vehicle. According to reports, he was “backing up his vehicle at a high rate of speed attempting to hit them but missed.” This incident led to Jay’s arrest, and he was subsequently released on a $10,000 bond.

Following this incident, Jay apologized for his actions and took steps to improve himself. He accepted a “best interest plea” and was convicted of misdemeanor reckless endangerment. As part of his sentence, he was placed on 1-year probation and required to complete a 26-week batterers intervention program.

Fortunately, it appears that the intervention program had a positive impact on Jay and Sara’s relationship. In the years since the incident, there have been positive developments in their relationship, suggesting that both parties have worked towards reconciliation and healing.

Now in March 2024, Jay and Sara have reconciled and are back together.

Sara announced on her Diving Deep podcast that she and Jay have reconciled. Despite filing for divorce, they never fully pulled the plug, and after lots of therapy, they’ve been able to work through their problems. “Everybody says that I shouldn’t contact you, but you are still my wife,” Jay sent in a 2023 text, which Sara revealed in her podcast.

He agreed to go to individual and couples therapy to try to save their relationship, and Sara realized, “It took me filing for divorce, I think, for him to realize, ‘Oh s–t, she’s serious. This is it.’ Some people have marriage problems that are like, they fight all the time. We didn’t fight all the time. He fought me. When he was in his low spots, he fought against me, he pushed me away, pushed my love away. So every situation is different. I would never encourage anybody to stay in a dangerous situation.”

We just hope that Jay and Sara made the right decision for everyone going forward!