The Voice recap: The Last Soliloquy of Adam Levine

Adam and Cee Lo make a pair of thoroughly unsurprising eliminations as the contestants are whittled down to the Top 8

Ask yourself this: would you rather be completely engrossed in an upset-heavy series of shocking eliminations, or vacantly go through the motions of watching a completely unsurprising results show? The former is far more nail-biting, as was the case last week when the world seemingly imploded at Jesse Campbell’s elimination, but Tuesday’s episode of The Voice was far less stressful, considering that none of the booted contestants this week were surprising choices to go home.

An obligatory celeb performance by Florence and the Machine kicked off the show, although perhaps not quite as scandalously as Cee Lo Fartgate 2012, and then we were off to our first set of results. On Team Adam, it was short and sweet when Carson Daly revealed that America had voted to keep Tony Lucca safe. Not to say that Tony was the most deserving contestant from Monday night, but his fan base is solid and his risky, tongue-in-cheek “…Baby One More Time” clearly went over well with the voting public.

Mathai’s last chance performance had a false start – literally, with Mathai missing her entrance to Carrie Underwood’s “Cowboy Casanova.” Blake said he was glad to see her embracing her hillbilly side, which struck me as odd, considering I had no idea she even had a hillbilly side.

Then came Katrina Parker, who has quickly become one of my favorites in the competition, even if the odds aren’t necessarily behind her to win. Singing Pink’s “Perfect” (a much more family-friendly choice than “F—– Perfect,” no doubt) Katrina showed that there was no contest between her and Mathai. Blake called her the best singer on Team Adam, and it’s indubitably true.

Faced with elimination but blessed with 23 minutes remaining in the telecast, Adam took his time elaborating on the yada-yada of sending home one of his girls. (Best line from Steve M. on our live blog: “I don’t think my first marriage lasted as long as Adam’s speech.”) Seriously, take more time, Adam. It’s cool – I need to wait for my RaeLynn’s Greatest Hits album to finish downloading anyway. After a tragically long monologue, Adam wisely saved Katrina and sent the singing wood sprite packing. Alas, it just wasn’t her Mathaime.

Team Cee Lo’s elimination could have served up a potential shocker, if America had elected to honor Cheesa’s B+ performance of Whitney Houston and vote her through. But that didn’t happen – weepy yet impressive powerhouse Jamar Rogers won America’s votes yet again, leaving Juliet Simms and Cheesa to sing for their lives. Spoiler alert: one was gouda, but the other was feta.

Cheesa’s “Already Gone” was painfully awkward in its lyrical choices, including such ironic gems as “I want you to move on,” “You couldn’t have loved me better” and the big kicker, “Someone’s gotta go.” Isn’t this usually the song that reality shows play after someone gets eliminated? Juliet delivered, as expected, on her reserved performance of Natalie Imbruglia’s “Torn,” which was a welcome departure from her typical rocker pleasantries.

Before making his choice, Cee Lo instructed both girls to smile – an adorable gesture, but both immediately burst into tears instead. Oh well, Cee Lo, you tried. “Your voice is like art imitating life, and life isn’t perfect,” quipped Cee Lo to Juliet. “America’s energy is invested in you.” That pretty much sealed the deal, sending Juliet to safety and kicking Cheesa out of the competition. That’s right: the Cheesa has officially spoiled.

What did you think of tonight’s eliminations? Were you as unsurprised as I was, or did you find yourself shocked by Cee Lo and Adam’s decisions? Who would you have eliminated instead?