Whoopi Goldberg Has Some Interesting Rules About Dating After Three Marriages
The Sister Act star knows a thing or two about failed relationships and caving to social pressure when it comes to dating.
The Oscar-winning star of Ghost, Goldberg (real name, Caryn Elaine Johnson) has been married three times. She has also been romantically linked to some famous men in the business, including The Good Place star Ted Danson and The Americans actor Frank Langella.
Next to be seen in the third, hotly-anticipated chapter of the singing nun franchise Sister Act, the star has learned a bit about herself through her marriages, which all ended in divorce, to the point she penned a relationship advice book in 2015.
A Timeline Of Whoopi Goldberg’s Relationships And Marriages
As we said, Goldberg has been married three times, but none of these relationships lasted very long.
She tied the knot with Alvin Martin in 1973, giving birth to her only daughter, Alexandrea Martin, shortly afterwards. The actress and Martin divorced in 1979. From 1986 to 1988, Goldberg was married to Dutch cinematographer and director David Claessen.
Then, The Color Purple star was in a two-year relationship with Ted Danson. The two actors had met in the late 1980s, but the romance between them only blossomed on the set of Made in America in 1992, resulting in Danson’s divorce from producer Cassandra Coates in 1993.
Following the split from Danson, who went on to marry his wife Mary Steenburgen in 1995, Goldberg said “I do” to union organizer Lyle Trachtenberg in 1994, but divorced him the following year.
After her third marriage, Goldberg was linked to Frank Langella after working together on 1996 NBA comedy Eddie. Their relationship lasted five years.
Whoopi Goldberg Says Not Everyone Is Cut Out For Marriage
Not much is known about Goldberg’s dating life after the breakup with Langella. However, the actress has always been candid about her views on dating and marriage, speaking at length about what she has learned about herself and others whilst in a relationship.
Looking back on her marriages, the star admitted to having caved to social pressure when deciding to tie the knot.
“Look, people expect you to have a boyfriend,” she told The New York Times in 2019.
“They expect you to get married. So I kept trying to do that, but I didn’t want to share information with somebody else. I didn’t want anybody asking me why I was doing what I was doing, or to have to make the other person feel better.
“But if you’re in a relationship, you have to do those things, and it took me a while to figure out that I didn’t want to.”
Goldberg then realized that she didn’t have to be in a marriage or committed relationship, after all.
“Then one day I thought: I don’t have to do this. I don’t have to conform. I tried marriage, and it wasn’t for me. You can’t be in a marriage because everybody’s expecting you to,” she said.
“Listen To Your Truths:” Whoopi Goldberg Never Married For Love
In 2011, Goldberg shocked her fans when she admitted she had never really loved any of her husbands.
“No, I don’t think so,” Goldberg told Piers Morgan when he asked her whether she had tied the knot for love.
“I wanted to feel normal.”
She continued: “It seemed to be that if I was married I’d have a much more normal life. Clearly, that’s not the case. That’s not a good reason to get married. You have to actually want a life with someone through ups and downs. I just discovered that wasn’t for me.”
Her marriages, however, brought Goldberg a new awareness about her goals and desires in relationships, which she poured into her advice book (“If Someone Says You Complete Me, RUN!”) published in 2015.
“The most important thing is that you have to listen to your truths, desires, and wants. And you have to believe you deserve all of it,” the actress writes in that dating and self-discovery manual.
Whoopi Goldberg Isn’t Afraid To Date Younger
While she has kept her private life on the down low after her relationship with Langella, Goldberg has often discussed her dating preferences.
“It depends on my mood. Because it’s about the person,” she told her The View co-hosts in 2021 when asked about whether she prefers dating younger or older people.
“Sometimes you meet somebody who is younger than you and… look, it would be perfect if everybody was well matched and well put together, but they’re not. And you find it where you find it, and it may last a long time or it may not.”
Later on, she revealed that she had stopped dating younger people as it can get “tiring”.
“Let me tell you why I stopped doing lots of things with younger folks,” she said.
“I went out with a younger dude and he said, ‘I can’t believe this.’ I said, ‘What are you talking about?’ He said, ‘I did not know that Paul McCartney had another band.’ And you kind of go, ‘The Beatles? You’ve never heard of The Beatles?’ ‘No!'”
“So you have to know when you’re going younger, there’s a lot of information that you have to impart. And sometimes it’s tiring. But then there’s the other way where you’re like, ‘Yeah, you’re younger, but you look good! Yeah, you’re alright.’ So you never know.”
Whoopi Goldberg On Why Short-Term Relationships Work For Her
It looks like Goldberg is perfectly satisfied as a single woman, focusing on her career, her daughter, her grandchildren and great-granddaughter.
“I’m much happier on my own,” she told The New York Times in 2016.
“I can spend as much time with somebody as I want to spend, but I’m not looking to be with somebody forever or live with someone,” she said, possibly implying that shorter relationships might suit her lifestyle better.
“I don’t want somebody in my house.”
