Alyssa Scott remembered her late son Zen on Wednesday in a heartbreaking video including footage of him as a newborn until shortly before his death on Sunday.
The 28-year-old model, who shared Zen with Nick Cannon, 41, included a somber note addressed to her son, who was just over five months old at the time of his death.
Cannon first shared news of his son’s death in a tear-filled segment on his eponymous daytime talk show on Tuesday.
‘Oh my sweet Zen. The soreness I felt in my arm from holding you is slowly fading away. It’s a painful reminder that you are no longer here,’ Scott began her caption.
‘I caught myself looking in the backseat as I was driving only to see the mirror no longer reflecting your perfect face back at me. When I close a door too loudly I hold my breath and wince knowing a soft cry will shortly follow. It doesn’t come. The silence is deafening.
‘These last 5 months we have been in this race together. We would hand the baton off to each other. You kept me going,’ she continued. ‘It would be the middle of the night and you would smile at me. A surge of energy would fill my body and pure joy would radiate from within me. We were a team, both determined to see it through.
‘It feels unbearable running without you now. I can’t. And in this moment I feel myself being carried. By your sister.. By God. By complete strangers encouraging me to not give up . It has been an honor and privilege being your mommy,’ she concluded. ‘I will love you for eternity. 6•23•21 – 12•5•21.’
The montage, which was soundtracked with Jhené Aiko’s bittersweet song promises, first showed Zen as a tiny newborn swaddled in blankets.
He slept peacefully on a furry rug while Alyssa’s three-year-old daughter from a previous relationship read a book next to him.
Zen looked unbearably cute in staged scenes from a photoshoot, as he lay in a tiny basket and snoozed in an acorn-shaped bucket while wearing a gray knit cap.
The little boy looked full of life in another scene showing him glancing up at Alyssa as they took a bath together.
He had a wide-eyed stare and cutely popped his tongue out periodically.
But the video also referenced darker times for the family, and Alyssa didn’t attempt to hide her sons medically issues.
Zen was in bed in one clip and showed off a cute smile while he was hooked up to electrodes.
He was pushed around in a wheeled bed in another clip and had what appeared to be more parts of electrodes stuck around his head.
The little boy appeared less animated in a section late in the montage that showed him playing with a toy piano.
Alyssa concluded her video with a loving clip of her cradling Zen in her lap as she leaned forward to gaze into his eyes.
On Tuesday, Zen’s father Nick Cannon shared the news of his death in an emotional segment on his daytime talk show.
He delved into how his son had suffered from hydrocephaly, which appeared to have been caused by brain cancer.
Although the parents had remained hopeful, Zen’s condition began to deteriorate rapidly around Thanksgiving.
According to Cannon, he and his former flame first realized something was wrong when their son was two months old and appeared to have an unusually large head. They also worried that he might have some kind of respiratory issues.
‘I always noticed he had a cough and so I wanted to check it out,’ the host said. ‘He had this interesting breathing and by the time he was two months, he had this nice sized head too — a Cannon head.
‘We didn’t think anything of it. But I wanted to take him to the doctor for his sinus and breathing. We thought it would be routine.’
It turned out to be far more serious, and Zen required brain surgery and had to have a shunt insert to drain the excess spinal fluid that had been accumulating around his brain.
Cannon said that he made a ‘valid effort to spend the most quality time’ with his son over the weekend.
He said he was on his way to the airport on Sunday when he received a call telling him to head back to say goodbye to his son.
Cannon recounted how he held Zen for the last time, saying, ‘You can’t heal until you feel.’
The actor also defended returning to work just days after the tragedy.
‘I prayed for God’s strength, and that’s why I’m here today, because I know he puts the most and heaviest weight on the shoulders of his strongest shoulders,’ Cannon said, before calling the episode ‘a celebration of life’ for his son.
A source later told Entertainment Tonight that Cannon was supposed to pre-tape one show on Monday and film another live, but both were ‘unexpectedly canceled on Sunday,’ with an older episode being shown that day instead.
In June, just days before Zen’s birth, Cannon welcomed twins Zion Mixolydian and Zillion Heir with Abby De La Rosa.
He also shares a daughter Powerful Queen, 11 months, and a four-year-old son Golden with Brittany Bell.
The Drumline star shares his old children, twins Moroccan and Monroe, with his ex-wife Mariah Carey.
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