The Beckhams are opening up about a rumor that’s been haunting them for decades.

Twenty years ago, David Beckham made the difficult decision to leave his wife Victoria and two young sons Brooklyn and Romeo in the UK to go play soccer for Real Madrid in Spain. And by leave, we mean physically — not relationship-wise. However, it wasn’t long before that started to become the rumor…

In their new four-part Netflix documentary Beckham, the former soccer player opened up about what it was like being thrust into a completely new country all by his lonesome:

“When I first moved to Spain it was difficult because I had been part of a club and a family for my whole career, from the age of 15 to when I was 27. I get sold overnight, the next minute I’m in a city, I don’t speak the language. More importantly, I didn’t have my family.”

Not long after being there, personal assistant Rebecca Loos (pictured above, inset) stepped forward claiming she’d had an affair with the athlete. And because of that, David and Victoria had to “fight” to keep their heads above water. Victoria reflected on the troubling time:

“It was the hardest period for us because it felt like the world was against us.”

Related: Mauricio Umansky Insists He & Kyle Richards Are Not Giving Up Just Yet!

What made it even worse was the lack of support for one another at the time, which was an unwelcome deviation from their norm:

“And here’s the thing, we were against each other if I’m being completely honest. You know, up until Madrid, sometimes it felt like us against everybody else, but we were together, we were connected, we had each other. But when we were in Spain, it didn’t really feel like we had each other either. And that’s sad. I can’t even begin to tell you how hard it was and how it affected me.”

That must have been so hard… Going up to bat against all the wild rumors, without even being able to fall back on the one person you are supposed to be able to trust most? Oof.

The mother of four added that she eventually moved to Spain as well, in order to be by David’s side. But that only made the speculation worse. She recalled:

“It was an absolute circus. It’s really entertaining when the circus comes to town, right? Unless you’re in it.”

However, the fashion designer opted to push down her feelings in favor of the “focus” David required for his sport — but at her own cost:

“Did I resent David? If I’m being totally honest, yes, I did. It was probably, if I’m being honest, the most unhappy I have ever been in my entire life. It wasn’t that I felt unheard, because I chose to internalize a lot of it, because I was always mindful of the focus that he needed.”

That poor woman. As for David’s perspective, it wasn’t necessarily an easy ride for him, either. He explained:

“I don’t know how we got through it, in all honestly. Victoria is everything to me, to see her hurt was incredibly difficult, but we’re fighters and at that time we needed to fight for each other, we needed to fight for our family. And what we had was worth fighting for. There were some days that I would wake up and think, ‘How am I going to go to work? How am I going to walk on to that training pitch? How am I going to look as if nothing’s wrong?’ I felt physically sick every day when I opened my eyes, ‘How am I going to do this?’”

Watch the full trailer for Beckham, which is now streaming on Netflix, below:

It’s inneresting for a lot of reasons — including the fact that we still didn’t really get an answer as to whether or not David cheated…